Like Ships in the Night
by GhostofaGirl15
Summary: "But that doesn't explain why when she's with Ezra, she keeps thinking about that day in her room, how she can still feel the breathtaking burn of Holden's kiss on her lips." Holden/Aria. Slight Ezra/Aria. Romance. Drama. Oneshot.


She's five years old when she first meets Holden Strauss.

It's at a family at The Strauss' house and she goes with her mom, dad, and three-year-old brother, Mike. She feels like it's going to be a really boring time. And she's right. The Strausses -while are very nice people- can't really hold her attention. She thinks it's a good thing that she brought Pigtunia - just in case.

After dinner, the adults stay at the table, talking (Mike also stays with her parents), while Holden's thirteen-year-old sister, Carolyn, goes to her room. Aria goes to a small section of the living room and sits, playing with Pigtunia. She's having fun, but is interrupted when the just turned six-year-old boy comes into the room, playing with his action figures.

He sees her staring at her a moment later, and gives her a small smile. She smiles back shyly in return. She thinks he's going to turn back to his action figures and leave her alone, but instead he asks, "Do you wanna play with me? I've got super heroes, even Wonder Woman and Batgirl."

Aria hesitates at first, but then scoots over to where the action figures are on the coffee table and picks up Wonder Woman and Batgirl, showing him she would play. She thinks it'll only last a few minutes. She doesn't expect to get as into it as she does, realizing that it's a lot more fun that she realized it would be.

Her parents end up having to almost drag her away from her newfound friend. As they almost get to the door, they see the little boy running to catch up to them. He holds Pigtunia out to Aria and says, "You almost forgot this."

Aria gets a look of relief on her face and thanks Holden tremendously before her parents lead her out the door.

XX

They become friends after that night. They don't really have a choice. They're together all of the time thanks to their parents. She doesn't mind, though. Holden's a really nice guy and a lot of fun to play with. It seems like he's the only one that can keep up with her crazy imagination when they're playing. Most of the other kids look at her like she's weird. She hopes her days with Holden never have to end.

Those hopes are crushed when she's seven. She learns that he and his family are going to Portugal. She's undeniably crushed. Holden's the first best friend she ever had. She can't imagine that just being taken away from her. She doesn't want to imagine it.

They say goodbye on the first day of summer. He hugs her and tells her that it's okay. They'll keep in touch. They won't stop being best friends. She agrees immediately, her seven-year-old brain not realizing that this task is way easier said than done.

She watches as he gets into the car and as they drive away. She sees him look out the back window at her and she gives him a small, sad wave. He returns the gesture.

XX

They do a pretty good job of keeping in touch until they're thirteen. That's when Aria meets Spencer, Hanna, Emily, and Ali. The five of them are instantly best friends, with Alison as their leader. None of the girls seem to mind. Ali's a good leader and none of the other girls seem to want to have that position (except for maybe Spencer. But no one challenges Ali. That's learned early on).

The loss of communication happens slowly, more from her side than his. She wants to blame it on that they're growing apart. What they had when they were little kids can't stretch much more. She can't bring herself to think about the alternative. That they lost contact because she gave up on trying. Because of Spencer. And Emily. And Hanna. And Ali. Especially Ali.

Even though they don't talk much anymore, she still thinks about him sometimes, when she's sitting alone in her room at night, still holding Pigtunia. She looks out her window at the stars and thinks about him. She doesn't know what to make of it.

XX

When Ali's murdered when she's fifteen, he's surprisingly the first person she wants to call. She doesn't know why. They haven't talked in two or three years and he never knew Ali, but she wants to call him. But she doesn't. She feels like going back to him now is too selfish. She doesn't want to be that person. She made her choice years ago, when Ali was alive and she, Spencer, Hanna, Emily, and Ali were all friends.

When her mom suggests they move to Iceland, Aria agrees immediately. She wants a change of scenery. Not only for the Ali thing, but him as well. Maybe a new country will help her get through all the mixed emotions she's been feeling about everything.

When she gets there, she's still thinking about him, but also Alison. Her life was cut short. She didn't get to do many of the things she wanted. Aria doesn't want her life to be like that. She doesn't want to completely cut ties. And she can't help but think that if Holden came back, he'd be disappointed to know that she moved without any word.

That's what makes her decide to send the postcard. It's cheap, but there's beautiful scenery on it and it says _Hello From Iceland!_ which gets her point across fine. She doesn't think twice before sending it, afraid that if she does, she won't do it.

He doesn't write back.

XX

More time passes. She's back in Rosewood, back with Hanna and Spencer and Emily. It almost feels like old times. She's dating Ezra Fitz and even though her parents have forbidden her to see him, she's happy. She's really, truly happy. There's just one small corner of her heart that's reserved for him that's still missing. She's tried everything to fill the void, but she can't.

The void is filled when he magically shows up at Rosewood, back in town. She's surprised, but happy at the same time. She knows they'll probably never be friends again, but just knowing that he's back makes her happy. Like everything's back to how it's supposed to be.

When he asks her out, she's stunned. She barely knows Holden anymore. And she's still in love with Ezra, which isn't fair to him. But still she agrees and they go to an Arthur Miller play, where she sees Ezra.

Pain and longing shoot through her and Holden notices, he always does, it seems. She breaks down and tells him that he's her ex, that she still loves, but things are… complicated. He nods and says he understands, and asks her out again. She wants to have him checked to make sure he's not insane.

He quickly explains that he wants out of the house for stuff, too. It's a fake relationship - no dating involved. Aria agrees and smiles at him. She's suddenly really, really glad Holden's back in town.

XX

As their fake relationship goes on, their real "relationship" does, too. She learns that he likes kickboxing (which is what he sneaks away to do) and that she might want to write when she graduates high school. Aria's glad things are back to normal for them.

Then, that day comes. They're hanging out in her room, listening to his iPod and eating M&Ms. She's singing along to whatever song is playing. Holden watches her, an amused smile on his face. She doesn't notice (or if she does, she pretends she doesn't). And then -all of a sudden- he's kissing her.

At first she's shocked, but then she feels the spark his lips are creating against hers and she quickly pulls away, telling him that she doesn't feel that way for him. That she loves Ezra. He leaves shortly after that.

XX

They continue with their fake dates, but he's closed off any real contact. She thinks it's just as well. She has Ezra. But that doesn't explain why when she's with Ezra, she keeps thinking about that day in her room, how she can still feel the breathtaking burn of Holden's kiss on her lips. She knows she should tell Ezra, but she can't. They're finally good again.

And then, they aren't. He takes the job in Louisiana and leaves her alone. She finds her way to Holden's front door, crying and praying that he won't turn her away. When he opens the door, he's surprised and starts to say something, but she just hugs him, unable to hold any of her emotions at bay anymore.

He closes the door and hugs her back, smoothing her hair. He doesn't have to ask what's wrong. He already knows. And he wants to seriously kick Theater Guy's ass for doing this to her. But he can't. So for now, he just holds her.

XX

They don't get together.

Sure, Holden still loves the brunette and wants to be with her, but she can't right now. And he won't if she can't. It's something that has been established in their relationship. He just wishes things were easier. He has to move on. He dates a few girls, trying to get her out of his head, but to no avail. He's still hopelessly in love with her. Maybe he always has been.

She's back to ignoring him. Or rather, suffering in silence while the pain swallows her. But it's not just pain for Ezra anymore. There's pain for Holden, too. Pain because maybe she kind of accidentally fell for him, but it doesn't matter, because she's too broken to be the kind of girl he needs in her life. She settles for not being in his life at all, but it hurts. It hurts worse than almost anything she's been through. But it's for the best.

XX

Weeks pass. Some slower than others. Both teens miss each other, but both teens don't do anything about it. They can't. Neither one will confess to their feelings. It's easier to pretend like they don't exist. They've both learned that the hard way.

But then, one day, she finds herself helping Holden clean out his room (as a favor to her father) and she finds a shoebox in the back of his closet. She knows it's none of her business, but she needs to know whether she should throw it out or not. She opens the lid and sees a bunch of pictures. Pictures of him and his friends, his family and him, and pictures of them. But that's not what catches her eye.

It's a postcard that says _Hello From Iceland!_ on it. She picks it up and shows it to him, a _You kept it?_ look on her face. He just shrugs it off like it's no big deal. Because those were the terms she agreed to. The terms she liked. But seeing that postcard changes things for her.

"But… why?" She asks. "Why, after all these years?"

Holden turns and looks at her and sighs and says, "Because, Aria. Just because."

And with those for words, butterflies are in her stomach and she wants nothing more than to fling herself into the boy's arms and kiss him until breathing becomes a necessity. So that's exactly what she does.

Holden's surprised at first, but wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her back. They both know new rules have been written for their relationship, that things might've just gotten more complicated than they already were. But as their foreheads rest against the other's as they take short breaks between kisses, neither of them can find the will to care.

_Fin._

**So… I'm not really sure where this monstrosity came from. I thought this was going to actually be shorter. But whatever. I ADORE Holden and Aria together. They are seriously like the cutest things EVER. But since I tend to love couples that are destined to fail (Lucas/Hanna and Alex/Spencer, anyone?), I'm trying not to get too attached. But it's hard. They're adorable.**

**In terms of OOC-ness, I apologize for any. I just had to write this. I wish there were more Holden/Aria fics out there. But oh well. I hope you guys enjoy this!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own **_**Pretty Little Liars**_**, if I did, Holden & Aria would be together. Simple as that.**


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